Why Chat Noir Shouldn't Stalk Marinette
by RicardianScholar Clark-Weasley
Summary: Chat Noir learns the hard way not to underestimate his Princess when she's going down a dark alleyway...
**Author's Note:** For Momijifan Low-Ki who desperately wanted to see Chat being pepper-sprayed….

It was a dark, cold, night in Paris and Marinette was on her way home when she heard it. It was very late and Marinette was cutting close to her curfew so she decided to make a few shortcuts through the alleyways and dimly lit backstreets of the city. She was confident that any potential mugger or rapist was no match to her Ladybug strength and to make her even safer, her parents had supplied her with pepper spray and a rape alarm as soon as she turned thirteen (her Dad also wanted to get her a Taser but her mother put her foot down ( _correctly_ ) fearing that Marinette would somehow accidentally electrocute herself) and she never went out without them.

So when Marinette heard the suspicious sound of footsteps behind her she only stiffened slightly and calmly slid her hands into her pockets.

(Inwardly she might have started freaking out a bit because at the end of the day she was still a teenage girl and anything could happen, and – she had to shake her head and stop herself there before her imagination undoubtedly took her down dark paths and give her nightmares.)

Marinette took a deep breath and continue to walk when she heard the footsteps pick up behind her. She tightened her grip on the canister of pepper spray and sped up her walking ever so slightly.

The footsteps sped up as well.

Her other hand fumbled for her keys where the rape alarm was attached to like a keyring and as soon as she managed to get them out she broke out into a full run.

The footsteps ran after her as well.

Marinette placed her thumb over the button, just in case, and began to run faster. She powered ahead using her extra speed from Ladybug to propel her across the streets of Paris safely.

But it didn't work.

The footsteps were louder and clearer and so obviously getting nearer and nearer to her! Marinette's heart sped up and her breath was stuck in her throat as she panicked and accidentally tripped over a stray stone or something.

She had, for once in her life, kept her balance and only staggered slightly but it allowed her potential mugger/rapist to catch up to her.

A hand grabbed her shoulder and turned her around.

" _Princess_! What are you doing out so la- **ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGH!** "

Without hesitation, Marinette had yanked out the pepper spray, aimed it at her pursuer's face, and pressed down hard on the button spurting out the stuff in their eyes while simultaneously jamming her thumb onto the rape alarm button.

The shrill, ear-splintering, noise drowned out her attacker's screams of agony.

…..and then Marinette realised, belatedly, that her stalker/potential mugger or rapist/pursuer was no one other than her partner _Chat Noir_. His cat suit and blonde hair were unmissable though she couldn't see his beautiful, eerie, green eyes because he was currently clutching his face and screaming thanks to the pepper spray.

 _Oh my God!_ She had just _pepper-sprayed_ Chat Noir! She had just injured one of Paris' greatest heroes….. _she was so dead_!

" _Chat Noir_?!" Marinette gasped, horrified, "Oh my God! _Are you all right?_!"

" _No!_ " Chat Noir sobbed as he covered his eyes. "Jesus, _why would you do that to me_?!"

"I'm sorry!" Marinette wailed. "I thought you were a creepy stalker trying to do unspeakable things to me."

" _Why?_!"

"Oh I don't know!" Marinette huffed impatiently. "Probably because you were following me in a dark, creepy, alleyway like a perverted creeper!"

"I only wanted to make sure you got home safe!" Chat whined. "I didn't intend to scare you, Prince-"

"POLICE! FREEZE!"

It was only when poor Chat Noir, who was still in agony from the pepper spray, was immediately tackled to the ground by an officer of the law and was suddenly handcuffed that Marinette belatedly (and mortifyingly) realised that she still had her thumb pressed down on the rape alarm….

Her parents we not happy when the police escorted her home.

MLBMLBMLBMLBMLBMLBMLB

Adrien was still sore from last night.

Although the misunderstanding with the police had been sorted relatively quickly it hadn't been sorted until **AFTER** he had been 'escorted' to the station. In the duration of his arrest he had not only been tackled to the ground by shoved against the car really hard and been called all sorts of horrible things. So now his stomach was bruised, his limbs (especially his wrists) were aching, and his eyes were still stinging slightly and had a terrible red-ish tinge to them from Marinette's pepper spray.

To make his morning worse Nathalie had left this morning's newspaper at the breakfast table and the whole front page was covered with a blown out picture of Chat Noir in handcuffs….

 _ **CHAT NOIR: A CREEPER?!**_

 _Late last night the police had made an interesting arrest when they responded to a young girl's distress call only to discover that Paris' Superhero Chat Noir had been stalking a minor through the streets of Paris. The girl in question is not named due to her being under-aged but it has been reported by the officer at the crime scene that she bore a striking resemblance to Paris' other Superhero and Chat Noir's partner, Ladybug. "It's possible that the creep has become obsessed with his partner and has taken to stalking anyone who reminds him of her-._

"Oh _God!_ " Adrien groaned as he bashed his head against the table and stared sideway in horror at the newspaper. "What is My Lady going to think of this?! She's going to think I'm some sort of perverted creeper that's _obsessed_ with her! She's not going to want anything to do with me! Plagg!" he wailed despairingly. " _What do I do_?!"

Plagg was entirely unhelpful as his only response was to roll about laughing hysterically.


End file.
